After having Alex, I actually bounced back pretty quick from labor/delivery – so to speak. I was able to walk around and move shortly after. I hate sleeping in those labor/delivery beds. They are uncomfortable to say the least. I spent most of my time sitting in the recliner in the room. Many nurses, doctors, and other hospital staff made comments about that when they saw me. “I am not used to seeing mom out of bed.” “Wow, you look great.” Are just a few comments I heard.
First let me say, if you’re going to try to strike a conversation up with someone who A. you just met and B. just had a kid, think before speaking. The things this staff said to me didn’t bother me too much. However, I can see how it could bother others. Essentially what they are saying is that I should look and feel like crap after having a kid. I can get over these comments because I really think they were trying to be nice. But there was one comment a nurse made that still makes me angry.
“I bet you wish you had a girl.”
Perhaps a simple comment but unnecessary in every way. When she first came into the room she made a few polite comments and found out we had James at home – a boy. She asked if Alex was a boy or girl. When I said boy, she replied “I bet you wish you had a girl.” This is entirely rude and unnecessary.
First, you’re assuming that I am disappointed that I have two healthy, amazing, wonderful little boys. Second, what if I really did wish I had a little girl and need time to process the feelings associated with that? Third, I just had a baby. Why do you feel the need to comment on the baby’s gender? Can I not enjoy my baby? Can’t we talk about his name, his eyes, the amount (or lack) of hair or how I am feeling? There are so many other things we can talk about.
I stumbled when she said this. I pretty much shut down and stopped talking to her. It made me feel like I should be hoping for a girl. That its wrong to have two boys. That I did something wrong. After she left I didn’t talk to anyone for a few hours.
Whether you’re hospital staff, stranger at the park, friend, or family member, please think before you speak. Comments like this can have a significantly negative impact on a new mother or father. I am lucky that I have two healthy babies who are alive. What more could I possibly want?