October holds a very special place in my heart. It’s pregnancy and infant loss month. One in four woman will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. Sadly, I am that one person.
When I was in high school, pregnancy was taught very simple: have sex and get pregnant. Doesn’t matter when or how, it’ll happen. Clearly they left out some major information – but I won’t go there.
When Tim and I got married, we knew we wanted to try for kids soon after the wedding. It didn’t take long and we were pregnant with our first. Needless to say we were very excited. After all, we were going to be parents! We had a good first few months. The pregnancy was going well and fast. Until one day. I noticed bleeding and we immediately made a doctor appointment.
The doctor couldn’t find the heartbeat on the handheld Doppler. We were still early in the pregnancy and the Doppler she had wasn’t the greatest. So, she sent us to get an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. The ultrasound showed baby was great – heartbeat was 150 beats per minute and everything else looked perfect. We thought we were in the clear. We were wrong.
About 4 weeks later I had bleeding again. Again, we went to the doctor and had another ultrasound. The ultrasound showed baby stopped growing at 8 weeks, we were 16 weeks. The following weeks were emotionally and physically draining for both Tim and me. It took a very long time for us to both feel better.
We decided to let God decide when we were ready to have another child. Luckily he graced us with James soon after our miscarriage. However, there’s not a day that goes by I don’t think of our angel baby. He (or she) would have been 2 this last September.
If you’re one of four that have had – or are having – a miscarriage, you’re not alone. If you know someone who has had or is going through a miscarriage the best advice I can give is to simply be there for them. In any capacity they need. It is a loss and everyone grieves differently.